Wasting Away In Margaritaville

Okay, more like rum & Cokeville but same idea. Drank so many I lost track and then threw up around 3am. Am I living the life or what? Thank goodness I'm bound for a dry county, I need to clean my act up.

I did a little scrapbooking today and realized I was missing a book and supplies which are no doubt in Mark's storage room. It turns out I am missing some clothes too. I'm hoping since I was nice enough to mail his pics that he'll be nice enough to look for my shit. I also thought about a will/DNR and that I would like him to be Rupert's guardian if I pass. Looks like I've got a longish email to send.

Legs still hurt like hell but only if I move them or something (cats for example) touches them. I'm talking to myself about the pain but it's what I signed up for, right?

Let the Sun Shine, Let the Sun Shine In

Hair, anyone? So, who else do you know that goes to sit out by the pool with the express purpose of getting sunburned? I put sunscreen on my face but nowhere else. My legs are burning right now and I love it. I just need the pain. I wish you could understand.

I also drank 3 rum and Cokes and 1 beer. This is the second time this week. I didn't pay my bills but you bet your ass that I've got a gallon of rum and vodka in the freezer. I should probably go to AA but am hoping Kentucky will cure my ills. I'll be living in a dry county after all.

I'm Gonna End Up With a Nose the Size of Pinochhio's

Finally got an application submitted to Vista Apartments in Radcliff, KY. I had to lie about my income and employment which Susie helped me do. I feel bad about lying and asking others to lie but we both decided that they were for a good cause. I'm just a good person in a bad place right now.

I talked to Mom and Dad on the phone Tuesday and we came up with some finalized plans for my move to Kentucky. They are going to help me pay my bills so I can stay here through July. On July 2 after I pay rent I will let the leasing office know I need to default on my lease. This way Mom and Dad will already be moved in and partially settled by the time I show up. I've applied fro a few jobs but haven't heard anything yet. Apparently with Serco they have to wait for their funding to actually come through and the Army...well, the Army is slow about everything.

Talked to Kelley late last night and she was out singing karaoke with a bunch of strangers. I'll never know how she does it and while I was worried I still have alot of admiration for her. We had both been drinking and between you and me I've been drinking more than I should be considering my past difficulties. I don't know what's driving me to it besides boredom. Although nothing in particular is wrong there is nothing particularly good either and I have that pathological need to escape. It's a damn good thing I don't know anyone who uses drugs, then I'd be in real trouble.

Screaming

I woke myself up by screaming this morning. It's probably about the 3rd time in the past 6 months which seems to be getting to be a habit. It's scary because the things that make me scream are parts of my own true life. It's terrible to be so fearful of yourself and I don't know what it means if anything.

"Pippi Long Stocking is comin in to your world, a freckle face red head girl you wanna know is comin into your world."

Just saw Pippi all grown up on TMZ, what a blast from the past.

I'm applying for jobs in Kentucky and waiting to hear back about an apartment. I'll be damned if I'm gonna live an hour away in Louisville! I'm not announcing my move on facebook yet, I don't know why exactly, I'm just not quite ready. I already started packing though and am already there in my brain. It is hard to be such a gypsy, I just want to belong somewhere, ya know?