Wasting Away In Margaritaville

Okay, more like rum & Cokeville but same idea. Drank so many I lost track and then threw up around 3am. Am I living the life or what? Thank goodness I'm bound for a dry county, I need to clean my act up.

I did a little scrapbooking today and realized I was missing a book and supplies which are no doubt in Mark's storage room. It turns out I am missing some clothes too. I'm hoping since I was nice enough to mail his pics that he'll be nice enough to look for my shit. I also thought about a will/DNR and that I would like him to be Rupert's guardian if I pass. Looks like I've got a longish email to send.

Legs still hurt like hell but only if I move them or something (cats for example) touches them. I'm talking to myself about the pain but it's what I signed up for, right?

Let the Sun Shine, Let the Sun Shine In

Hair, anyone? So, who else do you know that goes to sit out by the pool with the express purpose of getting sunburned? I put sunscreen on my face but nowhere else. My legs are burning right now and I love it. I just need the pain. I wish you could understand.

I also drank 3 rum and Cokes and 1 beer. This is the second time this week. I didn't pay my bills but you bet your ass that I've got a gallon of rum and vodka in the freezer. I should probably go to AA but am hoping Kentucky will cure my ills. I'll be living in a dry county after all.

I'm Gonna End Up With a Nose the Size of Pinochhio's

Finally got an application submitted to Vista Apartments in Radcliff, KY. I had to lie about my income and employment which Susie helped me do. I feel bad about lying and asking others to lie but we both decided that they were for a good cause. I'm just a good person in a bad place right now.

I talked to Mom and Dad on the phone Tuesday and we came up with some finalized plans for my move to Kentucky. They are going to help me pay my bills so I can stay here through July. On July 2 after I pay rent I will let the leasing office know I need to default on my lease. This way Mom and Dad will already be moved in and partially settled by the time I show up. I've applied fro a few jobs but haven't heard anything yet. Apparently with Serco they have to wait for their funding to actually come through and the Army...well, the Army is slow about everything.

Talked to Kelley late last night and she was out singing karaoke with a bunch of strangers. I'll never know how she does it and while I was worried I still have alot of admiration for her. We had both been drinking and between you and me I've been drinking more than I should be considering my past difficulties. I don't know what's driving me to it besides boredom. Although nothing in particular is wrong there is nothing particularly good either and I have that pathological need to escape. It's a damn good thing I don't know anyone who uses drugs, then I'd be in real trouble.

Screaming

I woke myself up by screaming this morning. It's probably about the 3rd time in the past 6 months which seems to be getting to be a habit. It's scary because the things that make me scream are parts of my own true life. It's terrible to be so fearful of yourself and I don't know what it means if anything.

"Pippi Long Stocking is comin in to your world, a freckle face red head girl you wanna know is comin into your world."

Just saw Pippi all grown up on TMZ, what a blast from the past.

I'm applying for jobs in Kentucky and waiting to hear back about an apartment. I'll be damned if I'm gonna live an hour away in Louisville! I'm not announcing my move on facebook yet, I don't know why exactly, I'm just not quite ready. I already started packing though and am already there in my brain. It is hard to be such a gypsy, I just want to belong somewhere, ya know?

Strawberry Shortcake

So, I had my first post divorce date last night and although it wasn't bad, it wasn't exactly good either. Suffice it to say, there will be no second date with this particular suitor. My driving was just terrible by the way. ECT has really messed up my sense of direction, attention span and powers of observation as far as road signs go. Yes, I went the wrong way down a one way street, oops! Also, it turns out that tattoo conventions are pretty boring unless you're lucky enough to be being tattooed.

After I dropped off my date I ran to the Speedway to pick up a 12 pk of Bud Light Lime, my favorite way to spend a Saturday afternoon. But Susie called and invited me strawberry picking so how could I refuse? Strawberries grow on a bush it turns out and are pretty low to the ground. I swear we walked a mile just to get to the damn things and I was wearing my wellies which kill my feet. The constant stooping to pluck absolutely killed my back. I'm too young to be falling apart this much!

Looks like I can put my lease termination fees on my bankruptcy so I'm pretty much 99% sure I'm going to Kentucky. Oh geez, I hope I know what I'm getting myself into!

The Wheels on the Bus Go 'Round and 'Round

I broke out the NES yesterday to play some Dr. Mario and got Damon quite interested. So interested that he lied about finishing his homework so he could play. We played Othello, Dr. Mario and Tiger-Heli before his Mom came home and totally busted him. I accept some responsibility for the lie since it was probably too much temptation to watch me playing while he was stuck doing boring homework. I have guilt. We played today after I was SURE that he did all his homework and I'm really glad that we can have fun playing together, especially since I am so terrible at modern games.

Didn't here back from my bankruptcy lawyer about putting my lease termination fees on the bankruptcy. I think he may not be able to tell me because I haven't technically retained him yet. But I think I at least deserve a courtesy call saying as much.

I have a date on Friday to go to the tattoo convention that's in town. It'll be my first post Mark date and I'm very nervous. It's been 8 years since I was with anyone else and that is like forever!

I finished The Perks of Being a Wallflower for book club and hope no one minded to terribly much that it is a book for young adults. I found it entertaining and deep and hope everyone else did too. It was pretty short so I'm not entirely sure we'll be able to fill up 45 minutes talking about it. I'll try to find a reading group guide online so we have some prompt questions.

I unofficially started Weight Watchers today with only my trusty points finder for assistance. I saved it from when Mark and I joined just in case and I'm glad I did. I can't afford to actually go to any meetings but I do plan on trying to find some of the printed materials on Ebay. If only I hadn't sold mine in search of the almighty dollar. Speaking of which, I purged my books and DVDs in preparation for the possible move and have already sold 2 on Amazon Marketplace. Hooray!